Oh Happy Day !

I have always liked the song! 

Has strong biblical references, but my school days have left me trained to un-notice these things anymore, rather they are nostalgic really.

I first heard it in the movie Sister Act. Oh did I ever mention I love Whoopi Goldberg? Well, I do. One amazing actress. One thing I always wondered is why do such amazing actors and actresses stop spreading the joy of their art so soon? I guess they have their reasons, but what to do yeh dil mange more! :-P

Off late I have been hibernating, just for the heck of it. Not because of any valid or arguably valid reasons. Well, I actually think I have reasons, but then I mostly live in self denial too.

I kept wondering how very small things have the potential to change your emotional status for any given day. Not to forget how these so called very small things can also lift your spirits so high that you feel like you are soaring like an eagle. Well, I mentioned eagle just because it is a saying, I wonder how eagles see though. Reminds me of my thesis question this. Oh no, distraction, I shall focus. 

So, small things can destroy or can make your day. Today, in the morning I was down, again feeling useless. But right now, I'm all elated. All because of one sentence "she has become normal now" - refers to me doing OTs in the lab. Ento, really!

Emotions. 

The thing being, we were just having a class on neuromodulation. Powerful things these. It is of immense importance. The one thing that is so complex that trying to define the same feels like posing philosophical questions. Like, I'm happy today, what does that mean? That there is no sadness left at the moment, or no sadness throughout the day? is that even possible, to have only one state of mind or feeling throughout the day? Exactly what is being happy? How would you quantify such a thing? What scalometer will you use? Does being happy mean the same to all the people in the world? What physical gestures would you propose that show happiness or is it just a state of mind? Oh don't even start on the whole "what is mind?" business. 

Potential. This is what holds the key to a lot of things. Potential. Everything intrinsically has a potential, the external or every worldly factor and the internal factors. They are just waiting to blossom or bombard out. They just seem to need a trigger. Sometimes the triggering thresholds are high, sometimes too small. Now a days the thresholds that set me off or onto things seem very small, not a good sign, but also a good sign for so many other reasons. I'm beginning to wonder if I have always been like this. Hmm.....I guess these things are for laters. 

But what the hell, its Oh happy day (more like oh happy night!) in my head right now. Now I shall suffer the ringing of this song in my head, also maybe abrupt vociferous besura singing of the same too. God save the rest of the beings around me :-P! Oh happy daaaaaaaaaaayyyyyy.......Oh happy day!

This is just to say, I shall try and write more often. Yes, yes, CBag! I always say the same. So true! :-P

I bid goodbyes for tonight with this :

My eyes already touch the sunny hill,
going far ahead of the road I have begun.
So we are grasped by what we cannot grasp;
it has its inner light, even from a distance –

and changes us, even if we do not reach it,
into something else, which, hardly sensing it, we already are;
a gesture waves us on, answering our own wave ...
but what we feel is the wind in our faces. 
                                                          ------------- "The Walk" by Rainer Maria Rilke

Variable times ....

there are times when I want to know the point
there are times when I want to know what is the point
there are times when I want to know where the point is
there are times when I get the point but it is highly unacceptable or digestible
there are times when the points are too much to take or too shallow to continue with
there are times when the points blind to nothing
there are times when the point is too little to hold on to
there are times when the point is useless
there are times when the point is proceeding to nothing
there are times when the point is loaded with crap
there are times when the point is just inexplicable
ultimately the point eludes me and makes me feel like it is not worth it
but the point seems to keep moving forward
and worse, it takes you along with itself, with or without your consent.

Blind obsession. Sometimes good. Sometimes bad!
I cannot decide which of these it is right now!
Maybe it has reached a perfect balance, situationally. Wow, and I never thought I could have one, in any form!
:-)

Note to Myself, very important :

Don't tell people your problems

70% don't care

the other 30% are happy!

(I miss having this poster, was a beautiful reminder every morning, also for those who entered my room :-P).

Wondering cloud above my head: what about those who ARE listening, which population do they belong to?

Most conversations I hold are about a self - mostly not myself though.

My resolve - run away like the rest, when they ope their lips!

                    Or refer them to a psychologist else ask them to pay me for it.

Funny people are all I know of. Maybe I'm stupid too. Was amazed at a friend recently. Totally misunderstood what I was referring to and she I guess was happy with what she misunderstood. Because that would have meant, lesser bhoj as they call it in hindi or lesser emotional baggage as they call it in english.

I need air, I feel suffocated.

But I guess I need to breathe by myself.

Another note to Myself, also very important:

Know and identify what is yours. The rest mustn't, almost most times, be looked at, heard to, and spoken to.

Includes "so called" family, friends, etc.

Just because a choice was given to people they start to feel off like this

They take it in their hands that your life is in theirs! And think that if they decide otherwise you might end up like this :

Some credit must be given to the possibility of possessing a stronger and more rational mind in others I feel !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjh20uFlzKI

I dedicate this to a certain someone in my lab .... whose presence is like what the song is about !

To BE or NOT to BE is the question !

I have been pondering. I have been pensive. I have been scared. I have been happy, excited, felt wonderful, although briefly, too !

So with all the mixed emotions, I have been confused as well. Talk about human physiology that can really be mean to you that way :-/

With all of the above happening in the body and mind, I forgot to enjoy the "present" of course. Why is it that such emotions so strongly hamper the beautiful things happening around you? 

A dear couple of cousins are in town. I haven't spent a meaningful little amount of time with them. I say this not because I didn't physically get myself to be present there. I was there, but it was meaningless. I wasted time, both mine and theirs. Have been a real spoil sport. But today, I breathed in and out, shook off the emotions that were bogging me down, looked around and felt very happy. What I majorly did was to continue doing what I was supposed to be doing for myself, work on my hobbies, do my work, entertain my family, spend time with them apart from continuing to be in my mental verbal vaagjaal. I freed myself from it. Took a look around, identified, recognized and appreciated what I already have at hand. There is so much love, which I seem to be warding off. Sometimes I don't understand why I get so angry and say and do things that are not meant to be. At heart, I only want the best of things for everyone who showers me with loving and caring gifts, and for most others too. 

Note to the self : Do not abuse that which is present, some things are too priceless. Know their anmolness and retain them so!

Hugs and Kisses to my sweetheart family and friends. :-)

The Clouds and the Purples !

I have always liked UV's color. Especially the one you can notice in some tube lights.

That white mixed with a tinge of purple in it, radiates a fresh brightness. Can't explain that purple-ness either, it seems like some sort of an unreal thing. You can only notice it around the edges, you can feel it, you know it is there, but the moment you want to capture it, it blurs your vision and you have to try hard to find that tinge, so elusive. The only way to capture it I feel is around the edges, repeating it again anthe :-P. 

Those Yellow bulbs, which are all yellow and gloomy, they have a sort of unfriendly brightness in them. It feels like some sort of torture to be around it. It gives me the impression of something scorching down on me, too intense, doesn't let me concentrate, irritates me a little, makes me uncomfortable. I just feel like leaving the room then. But then again, the same yellow-ness in a deepam is so pleasant. I wondered why it is so. My only excuse, which barely serves the purpose of explanation, is that maybe because it is more natural :-P. Or probably they are not so intense like a bulb. There is just enough light, enough to make you see things, enough to know what is around you, doesn't throw too much light on the rest. Its like meeting those people who don't talk too much rubbish, just about enough, so you can bear to be around them and feel happy or sad or whatever, but still pleasant enough. Not too much information to process, or too intense, very unlike the yellow bulb!

I also like those orange-ish street lights. They make people and things around them pretty I feel! Of course, this is my perspective alone. It casts some sort of beauty on things and people. Eyes shine brighter, hair shines brighter, wonderful thing being....you can see the shine in the eyes in this light! Somehow I fail to see this in normal light. Or maybe its my general demented version of how I see things. I often enjoy walking along some streets where such lamp posts are there. Especially when the air is a little less than chilly, or when it just rained an hour ago, or along a nice water body, so much fun! Peaceful! Relaxing!

The rest are associated with other rubbish - red light, pink light, blue light! These are lights that you don't get to see often. Not in homes, not in public. Maybe because of all the other "negative" connotations associated with them. But the only time I really enjoy seeing them is in some shadi and other festivities at homes. Those serial bulbs, awesome! I can spend the whole night looking at them, like a kid amused with something! I guess green is one other color I missed to mention, I'm neutral towards it. Doesn't ring any bell, except when I think of those low-resolution-shot-in-the-dark videos that are made to bring in the concepts of ghosts and their apparitions!

Having deviated enough from what I actually wanted to write about, let me begin with it now! 

So I got up and, rather was awake through the night till early hours, I went out onto the terrace at around 6:00 a.m. Lovely morning it was. Clear sky, filled in a lightest shade of royal blue, not to mention a pleasant breeze. I turned around to soak the entire expanse of the sky. I laid my eyes on the UV-ed moon! It was shining like a crescent tube light. I never thought that moon could look that way, like a UV tube. I was all happies! Then I saw some clouds, the ones that look like ripples on the sand (cirro cumulus). Arranged like some sort of steps to the sky. They were purplish too! :-D 

I went out one hour later, the sky was now all different. No moon of course. The clouds were so different now. Still purplish-greyish in color. Only, now they looked like some cloaked people moving in the sky. Like the cloaked dementors in Harry Potter series.  They were a lot closer in height to the earth, I could see that very clearly. Moving like some evil structures, massive and evil structures, that grow bigger as they move closer to you. (stratus)

One hour later, the sky was filled with those club shaped ice-cream tops kind of clouds. Tiny ones, all arranged like steps again. Perfect in shape. Although by the time I thought of capturing them, they got disfigured a bit of course. I remember mentioning the line "dheennay vanilla sky antaaru emo". Of course, CBag thought it was very filmy :-P

One hour later, with dwindling concentration and lack of sleep, I refused to look at the sky and walked to my room and I slept off. 

I woke up late in the evening, thought of motorbiking my way home. I have to pass this flyover very close to the university. I was driving along the upslope, and the sky opened up more and more like this mounting and expanding vision. That was one amusing and breathtaking vision of the sky I had. Filled with purplish-greyish-lilac clouds! Like the color of a Brinjal's flower. The whole sky was filled with it! These were bigger clouds of course. 

I saw those clouds, spent a few minutes wondering what color describes them best. Failed miserably at it. Then suddenly realized to enjoy the vision instead. I drove down the flyover and I thought, not a bad day of clouds at all. They have amused me throughout the day, from dawn to dusk. I called it the day of clouds and purples! 

:-D

Just some Ignorable thoughts!!

I think its for the first time I realize what loneliness means. Especially so about when people quote about how you can have a 1000 people around you and still feel lonely. A friend wrote about meeting people who are family by choice and family by blood. What is this family? Is it someone who is with you no matter what? Is it someone who shares stuff with you? Is it someone who stands by you and vicariously suffers with you? Is it someone who has unconditional love for you? Someone who provides or fends for you? Someone who accepts you for who you are? What is this family? It is such a funny place this world. If you do something for someone, either the opposite person feels obliged to do something in return or cannot accept it as a thoughtful gift or rather diabolically questions the reasons behind such an innocuous attempt to make you happy. Worse are the kind who do things for others and expect something in return! I don't think I have it in me to face this faceless and pretentious world. But somehow I have always had signs, right when I stop having faith in some things or when I cannot take it anymore. There was a time when I would laugh at this "signs" concept as a kid. Over time I started believing in it. Co-incidental phrases, either from movies or random people talking or other situations of the kind, have always had a way of pacifying my thoughtful and pensive moods. Just when I was pondering about life and what it means and the purpose behind it, I watched this movie that inspired me to do something substantial. Right after that day, while remnant pessimism was still haunting me and while I continued to doubt this "sign" concept rather unwillingly, I watched another movie which reminded me about how I was in the right path then. Confession: I was watching Exorcism of Emily Rose :-P. NO. Not about the God delusion etc stuff. But about how sometimes of all the randomized events that could have occurred, you were at a point in life when you were at the right time and at the right place, in other words in the right path. 

I felt happiness is highly overrated. Now I feel peacefulness will soon join its bandwagon!

Ento !

38 page views from Russia this week and 19 yesterday alone !! :-S

Its been twenty whole days since I last posted about writing!

And and and I did not move an inch in that subject :-/

Sometimes I just don't want to read. Like I have been feeling for the past TWENTY days. 

I haven't written a line towards my thesis, or even think about it. 

There are lots of other rubbish that I have been thinking and dealing with. 

Future is so promising and distasteful at the same time sometimes, maybe that is because of my continual "be practical" attitude that blurs out the good parts that could also exist. In other words, borderline extreme pessimism.

I guess right now, I could let bygones be bygones or say "fast track" to myself (move on).

Buckle down time!

Fear, Loathing, Anger, Disappointment, Dissatisfaction, Real+Imaginary Issues, and the list just goes on and on and on !

Submission!

In my head : "So, Shalini, next weekend we can ......."

(before the rest of this ends, my thoughts barge in and think, oh my god, by next weekend? Really? Oh my god again! Does he want me to submit a part of it or the whole of it?

Gosh, I knew he would say something like this, Naheeeeeeeee!!!!).

In reality: So, Shalini, next weekend we can all go to Ananthagiri Hills by train and spend some time there. We could do some trekking and hiking if possible. 

Me: Oh, thank God! I thought you were asking me to submit by the end of next week.

Reply: Yes, on Friday you submit and on Saturday we can go out on the trip.

We burst out laughing!

Drops!

Sometimes you sit alone. 

Either by choice because you need silence (or no disturbance or trying to focus and finish something) or you want to have your own space or you are angry.

Sometimes you end up sitting alone and practicing shhh too because everybody else is reading, man do I itch to be a bug during such time :-/

Most times when I sit alone to read, like really read, I get distracted for every small thing. Like suddenly when someone enters the room and I have to have to turn. Might not be useful to turn, but I have to somehow. I could be called by someone (this is plain imagination). I have to go and quickly get a pencil from the other room! I have to go drink water, I didn't drink much since morning (reality, just before I emptied an entire half a litre bottle).  Let me go ask my labmate about that thing, that thing you know? Did I switch off the fan and lights in the other room? It is getting so so cold in here, where is the AC's remote? Gosh let me go hunt for it now. Oh, I forgot to go say "Hi' to XYZ today, let me go do the honors. While I'm reading I could cut my nails and remove this horrible shade. I have to oil my hair. Wait, let me look for what to download tonight (waste an entire hour or more to check what next to download). Lets see what is there in the fridge (at least a dozen times within two hours). Oh wasn't that show supposed to start in a few minutes? Yesterday, and that other day, those XYZs were mean to me. I must do something about it :-P. Aaah let me finish returning those calls and messages that have been piling up and up. Farmville crops have to be harvested, the offer is only for another four ours! 

The day is almost over, oh no, tomorrow I will not do this again!

Anyhow, it was one of those days when I was really trying to read. Yes, because I had an exam the following day :-P. I manage to continue being a member of only one day batting group somehow, since childhood :-P. So I was sitting there under the AC, yes right below it. I felt a tiny drop of water on my hand. Probably fell from the AC, I told myself. All is well until evil pops its boothaddham out. God, I'm sure it was that balli. Cheeee. I tell myself, couldn't be, where is it, if it did? No answer. Again another drop fell. I was like thats it! Got up and ran away, never to return to reading. 

Sometimes I also feel something tiny moving or running in my head. Those times I get up and do a thorough oiling and combing session. No fruits, all clear! Or I suddenly see a lot of latent skin disease patterns on my hands and feet. Whatever the reasons for distraction, the worst is when something watery falls on your head or hands. Who is to know what it COULD have been? 

Bottomline - Who says only kids have attention deficits? Jara okkasaari kaluvu manu naathoni! (Ask her/him to meet me once!)

No escape situation!

So, I have to go give a terribly important yet silly exam in a few days. I have been running away from my boss since at least three days now. Why? I'm obviously not working ("when do you?" is the question, is it? :-P).  So, I do not have much to say to him (I almost never do). To reduce this bhaaram, I shifted to another room bole tho, my other annoying labmate as gotten all of his baggage with him, and oh that includes my boss as well. I cannot, simply cannot read with too many people around me. Specifically so when he is around. For a change Iyyam trying to read. Actually, some sort of Murphy's Law in action. Whenever I try to read, something WILL happen. Like power cuts (almost all the time), kids running around me, having to take care of kids, chatty people barging into my room or my privacy, people staring at me, having to do other work as well. How can a lazy person like me even get something done at this rate. Should I give up reading? I never took it up in the first place! :-/ Its like those newly pass outs asking for jobs and all the companies say is we need someone with experience, where will the experience come from if no one hires?
I think I'm losing it. I never HAD it to begin with, whatever nanograms left of it also slipping away, Bachao Bachao!

Aggressive me!

I'm awfully arrogant and to a great scale aggressive too, mind you only verbally! I do not think of myself as a calm person in any way. Although, unknowingly I do develop a lot of patience for some set of people I don't really want to. How does that happen when my threshold for nonsense and unjust is really like somewhere deep in the ground.

Therefore, it makes me less of a "comely" person. Kids are genuinely scared of me, they don't even remember to bat their fake cartoon puppy eyes while they stare at me. They stare and then look away in like less than ten seconds. 

Did I already mention that Iyyam mean to the extent of mean can get when I bug others?
For an aggressive over achiever of bad moods, I'm also very lazy (there are several people who will second this fact). In spite of all of this, I seem to be getting popular with people. Plug in the detail of me being one of the very very few people who still calls Hyderabad home, and you will understand my problem. I'm always entertaining guests, friends, attending every wedding in the world, doing all the running around. I wonder how I ended up this way. That too I'm pretty boring to be around with as well. I might as well get a job that is designated "for the people, by the people, of the people". Since I don't seem to have a life of my own anyways, or at least that is the assumption with which people schedule my proceedings for any given day!

Function, inverse function, range, domain, circles, sentences, physics, maths, log, BLOG!

Flying Foot Kick to me ... !

Jaisi karni waisi bharni...

Antha Branthiye naa ?

Jagamay Maya .....brathukay maaya!

Payasam 

Payasam is one sweet that I always loved. It is an anytime sweet. I like all of its variations too. Like the ones that the bengalis/malayalis/oriyas/tamilians/gults make!

There is always room for payasam!

I never understood if kheer is also a variation of payasam.

Honestly I DO NOT like the rice version of it :-/

One sweet dish that is utterly Hyderabadi is Double-ka-Meetha!

Oh man the things I could do to have it. Like those guys in 3Idiots say, "hum cake ke liye kuch bhi kar sakthe hai". I could say the same for it. Although come to think of it I love Sheer-Khurma too. Awesomeness defined!

I'm actually having a renewal of sweet-tooth or craving sweet tasting items right now. Wish I was around people who would make it for me.

I don't know how many of you must have had those rose flowers made at home? Those have gone into oblivion I feel. I don't get to eat them, buy them, or see others making them anymore!

This reminds me of what mom said earlier this evening. I was having an early dinner sort of and I HAD to open my mouth and tell her that I will not disappoint her and probably grab a bite again later on too. To this her answer was, "neeku aithe dinner sayanthram six ninchi morning six varaku continue avuthundhi kadha, continue" karke!

SO MEAN!

But its true, every bit of it, also this reminded me of how I would be able to fast for ramzan with ease at this rate. Therefore, the thought of all the lovely sweets right now.

P.S. Sorries for no blogs, no net no blog. Reminds me of that song Hello Doctor from the movie Prema Desam where they have some lines that go this way "No credit card no love, No car no love, No lies no Love". :-P
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8mXURPI3oVE 

The Age of Individuality....

I was thinking about our times. About how all of us seem to be confused, in some way or the other, about some or the other thing. Gone are the times when people would stick to the norms and not stray from it. I guess things were a lot easier for people back them, except for the revolutionaries and rebels of such times, but then again they were still the outliers of the lot. The goal was to agree with a perspective, not to question it because of the strong underpinning they possessed through patronage. 

Individuality has brought its own set of pros and cons. Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder I'm told. If I think of it objectively, most people I see everyday are definitely beautiful. But then again, when I think of whether I personally think someone is beautiful or not, I fail to even acknowledge most of them as beautiful. In Joey's words, they are so far from the line that the line is a dot to me! :-P I hope I have put my point across, although in an odd way. Subjectively, each one has her/his own definition for beauty. We have come to a point where we accept this fact for starters. But, I strongly believe that such populations are still lurking as outliers. The mean is still same old same old! But according to a lot of predictive science through models and simulations, the kind of populations that shall prevail in the future are all set, belong to a certain type, and then what will happen? I think I have digressed enough. 

Why bother about a lot of such garbage? I was sitting in this journal club today. It is so difficult to collect information for statistics when there is a wide disparity in thought, culture and gender issues. Not to mention your own experiments with the truth (philosophically speaking), in other words, your own experiences and genetic makeup which also influence what you think or feel. How do you unify such data into one and bring out a pattern in it. Of course, you put through a lot of mathematical and other higher order computational procedures. But then you have twisted around too much, come up with the best possible theory, which in turn could be wrong from the core. But I'm told something is better than nothing at all. 

In the end I was humming "We don't need no education!"

I had this vague correlation to this movie, Monty Python: Life of Brian. I would say watch it. It was so much simpler to be like a community and follow one person, whether in your right minds or not. People always sought out for a leader or a god or an embodiment of god on earth. Individuality gave us, I feel, a religion of our own. Follow your own religion, have your own precepts and principles and other rules of the sort. But the difference being, back then, one such person emerged amongst thousands and made truck loads of money and now we make none. Of course, now such leaders are addressed differently, as being spiritual than godly.  So we are back to being in a mixed and confused time. Should we follow these spiritual babas or should we be on our own? Very Subjective again!

P.S. Sad post, but wanted to ramble on and on and trust me it was difficult NOT to write all that I thought. Spared ! Bottomline, Unity in Diversity doesn't seem to exist anymore, or did it ever?

I really like the interactive doodles that Google makes! :-D
I like the normal ones too actually :-)

Funny Girl 

I was watching Funny Girl yesterday, and I have been watching a lot of classics off late, including musicals. 

I realise that I love musicals, although I haven't really watched them exhaustively, I'm quite happy with the ones I have.

What makes them nice (for me)? Well they are a nice mix of lyrically put verbal vaagjal. I have always admired the beauty of the minds that are able to come up with such imaginative ways of expressing simple things in life. To notice the beauty in everything. To align words beautifully, to even think of it! Not to mention composing them with great music and having a person sing it the way it should have been sung. Art!

But the one thing I didn't really have an appreciation for was writing about what the poet really means in his lines. I used to like reading poems, period. What do you think of this? What could this mean? How can you relate this to this and that? What is the theme/tone/etc etc? Some of these are pretty simple, but some of them call for your guesstimates (yes, it is a word). How can someone possibly put themselves in another person's shoes who belongs to a different time, age, and other differences of the sorts? 

What inspires people really? I'm told it is passion (more often than not), but what drives it? How does it begin? I wonder, brainwise, what makes someone more poetic than the rest. There seems to be some sort of a pattern. A lot of poets and singers who write their own songs seem to have died at a very young age! The other day I discovered the existence of this young and really talented singer(according to me). I liked her music a lot, it was refreshing to learn that I can tend to like such music too. But then very abruptly I thought that maybe she will die soon too. Now, I know shub shub bolo, but I couldn't help it. 

I wish I was given a job where I only watched movies, I might get bored sometimes, but it would be a cool thing to do. 

P.S. following are the songs I liked for their funny composition, both the lyrics and the videos :-)
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k4pYENXT9Ek
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=olKEitXfREU

Bunked Classes.

Experiment didn't work for several reasons. 

Not sleepy at all. 

Didn't read anything.

Was all excited, chumma excitement.

Got a cute pair of earrings, thank god for cute friends and their good tastes :-P

Was missing people I didn't think I would, strange :-D

Was listening to the same six songs throughout the day.

Didn't even get to eat properly, at the feast that too!

I "could" continue with the work right now, but I don't feel like it. Its alarming, its alarming :-P 

I don't know what I do with my time anymore, got told several times by this person at work that I never seem to work like everybody else in the department.

Mom got a new phone, yey! :-D

That was what I did yesterday or more like 40 minutes before thak. 

This tells me that I'll be ditching a friend big time tomorrow, :-/

Ento Ento season is running in my head .....

Optical Illusions.

Off late I have been wondering a lot about vision and illusions. The reason being, on one particular day I couldn't tell reality apart from the imaginary. Why? Intoxication does that to you sometimes :-P. This is mainly because of the "moving mind" I'm told. Whatever the reasons, here is a video I want you to watch. Fixate your gaze at the centre of the video without blinking, for about 20 to 30 seconds maybe. Now look at some other object away from the screen. 

http://en.wikipedia.org/w/index.php?title=File%3AIllusion_movie.ogg

See what I mean?

What we see now seems to be effecting what we will see next. 

Also, what we see with respect to its surroundings also seems to have an effect. Follow the link and see it yourself!

http://www.michaelbach.de/ot/lum_white/index.html

I'll add another one video to the list of visuals here. This one really spooked me out and I wondered if the Matrix is really true :-P

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Lilac-Chaser.gif

If everything we see is actually not what it itself is, then what is it in reality?

Tu du ..du du ...tu du ... du du ... tun tun tun !

I sat down to write for today and all I could do was this in my head, so I thought why not for a change write it down too :-D

Kuch Thanda Pee Lo

Mood Nahin Hai

Dahi Bade Lo

Mood Nahin Hai

Kulfi Kha Lo

Bahut Kha Chuke

Paan Kha Lo

Bahut Kha Chuke

Bahut Kha Chuke...bahut Kha Chuke

Aji Ras Malai

Aapke Liye

Itni Mithai

Aapke Liye

Pehle Joote

Khayenge Kya

Aapki Marzi

Na Ji Tauba

Na Ji Tauba...na Ji Tauba

Kisi Betuke Shayar Ki Besuri Kavvaliyon

Dulhe Ki Saliyon, O Hare Dupatte Waliyon

Joote De Do, Paise Le Lo

Joote Do...paise Lo..!

Where have all the normal people flown off to?
I'm being inundated with all the intellectuals (or readers) of the world having long opinions to orate and disseminating much bakwaas to digest!
All the normal people please stand up!

Working with Workoholics !

My boss is a natural workoholic. He actually enjoys and has fun with it. This is the worse kinds because then you can't even be bitchy about him. Were he a tyrannical one who forced us to be workoholic too, then , it would have been different. This nature of his makes us feel terrible, there is no force to do anything except he is always this bubbling source of  "so what shall we do next?". If there is no rigid answer then he starts his own experiments or reads like anything! I'm doomed!

Its one thing to not work and tell yourself to be fine with it :-P. Its another to feel guilty about the fact that your boss is not going to force you to either. This is exactly like another experience I face with my parents. They never tell me what to do. Reason they quote, if anything goes wrong you'll blame us. Baah. Really! I'm forced to bear with my own wrong doings. I don't mind it, but once in a while I'd like to hear what they think too. It helps to hear another perspective about what could be a solution to the current or perpetual problems in life. 

Did I tell you that he loves to shop? Mostly for items needed in the lab. Right now, in spite of it being a Saturday, he is in his cabin working. He was here since morning, reading. Again! Next he finished his shopping in the city (at Ranigunj, around 25kms from the university) for electrical items required in the lab (he loves to make his own instruments). He came back to the lab, started building this item required in the lab; I was playing farmville during the time. Now he is back to reading again! Why can't someone leave me in vacuum instead, I'm suffering from asphyxia anyways! :-/

Born with a FACE !!

It was one of those days when nothing I tried seemed to have successfully reached its fate of completion. Or probably completion never was its fate in the first place. Out of exhaustion and no other option, I took the offer that PH presented and went out for a ride in the campus. We ran our, not few but one, errands and decided to head for tea. While sipping it away, we met a few other friends. Since I was so dejected, I kept the conversations going for as long as possible. I was in no hurry to get back to the mess that I last left few minutes ago :-)

While we were engaged in the talking, we came upon the topic of bunking regularly. The fact that if ever I cite illness as an excuse it won't work. Therefore I can never fake illness or even openly admit that I'm in spite of being ill. The reasons being that I shall not be trusted for what I uttered. Because, I told her, I have a face which never seems to show an internal illness like it shows in most others. I don't have a face that can gather kind or pleasant emotions from the opposite person. ha ha ha .....but true ! That is so only because I project an irked one most times, maybe arrogant too according to one other friend.

I have a lot of friends who can get away with almost anything because of the "paapum" face they have! This reminds me of "Puss in the Boots" from Shrek. The way it makes a "Oh I'm an innocent little thing that can harm no one and I'm true to the core" face.

                                                       

It is probably a little unfair to be born with a face that exudes a certain emotion by itself. Correction - NOT probably, it IS unfair ! I won't deny that I don't dislike happy and smiley faces, but the thought that I can't have one is what bugs me a lot. Actually not even that, who wants to smile all the time, its just that why is it so ? Why should someone be born with a smiley face, or a cheerful face, or a calm face, or a serious face, or etc etc. I wonder how that happens though. So once your face is developed and the first expression you make gets stuck on for the rest or your life or ...... ! Gosh .... it would be cool to know how that happens :-D

You Are Self-Assured

You value truth and justice. You are impartial, and you believe in treating people equally.
You are principled and conscientious. You try to behave as virtuously as possible.

You want every one of your days to mean something. You don't waste your energy on things that don't matter.
You couldn't be someone else even if you tried! You're simply you - and thank goodness for that.

The Circle Doodle Test

Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

You Are 60% Bipolar

You're a bit moody, and at times, your moods can be a bit extreme.
It's up to you to decide if you're simply dramatic... or slightly bipolar.

Are You Bipolar?

Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

Did you know ??

Following are a few words I found out about laughter and was amazed - like always with words! :-D

Geloscopy/Gelatoscopy - seemingly one of the several Methods of Divination which can predict the 

                                          character of a person or his future from the way she/he laughs.

Katagelaphobia - is an abnormal fear or dislike of being ridiculed.

Abderite - a scoffer. 

Abderite Laughter - means an excessive or foolish laughter; scoffing.

                                  It is said to be derived from the ancient region named Abdero. Democritus, an 

                                  ancient greek philosopher, also known as The Laughing Philosopher (for laughing at 

                                  human follies) was born in Abdero.

She and Si and SSi....!

I have laughing riot kind of memories about each of these Cs :-D.

My brother, as a kid, was a little like Taare Zameen Par. No, not mentally, but when it came to studying he went into those modes of being scared and thoroughly anxious. Short term memory wise worse than Ghajini! He would forget the spellings in split seconds, sometimes I wish I had that ability. Gosh, CBag for one would debate and say I hear your words and raise you by NO :-P (yes, makes sense only in my head ha ha ha). So focus, yes my brother, he had to learn the spelling "she". He had been on it for a week or so by then. So, my mother asked him the spelling on this eventful day that I have been meaning to write about. Very promptly, he said, "s" "she (I mean the syllable she)" is she. She asked again, what is the spelling? Very adorably he repeated the same thing over again. He did that three times and finally experienced an episode of, how to fingerprint rouge on your cheeks? I, like my sadist self, sat there, watched the whole thing and couldn't stop laughing! 

Some of my friends, like most people whose native languages don't harbor a lot of sounds, have trouble pronouncing the usual she as she. The whole "she" incident with my brother has only aggravated the swiftness with which my antenna seem to gather any mistakes in this regard. A classmate of mine is a perpetual source of hilarity for the same. So much so that I had to excuse myself from the class because I couldn't stop LOL. All the above mentioned syllables are simply put C :-P

Yes CBag, I'm cheap and evil and .........!

My list of hate words off late :--

See
Hear
Learn
Conscious
Subconscious
Unconscious
Aware
Attention
Context
Concept
Percieve
Understand
Know
Condition
Feel
Sense
Represent
Integrate
Train
Meta
Mind
Predict
Expect
Feedback
Feedforward
Intuition
.......................... those are only to name a few, mind it :-P

My labmate .... 

HG is one awesome guy, as in awe inducing guy literally. I love this man's humour, its abrupt, has the correct punch line, falls under one of my favourite category of "true words spoken in a jest" and I wouldn't change a thing about his style of delivering the joke.
He walked in today and said "iss dess mein logo ke paas informaysan nahi hai! koi kuch jaantha nahi hai aur clear nai hai mathlab". The timing was right because I went around asking for some stupid correctional measures procedural details :-D
Sometimes in a day that was full of stupid worries, all it takes is one sentence from HG :-P
To add to my giggle fits he said "aabhi jaakay mein ghaaram paani mein doob jaunga", this seemingly was to cool off his head that was bubbling :-D

Thanks HG for the giggles now and a few that I'll remember and laugh about at any given time :-)

Oh My GOD ..... Passwords !

Wake up, check if there are any missed call or messages on your phone - type password.
If you chose to check something in your PC or your laptop - type password to log into your computer.
If you have more time and want to check mails in the items above - account name (one more entity) and password to login into your internet connection.
Finally to open your email account - login details - account name and password.
If you are a "social-networker" - same goes.
Come to work, to log into your lab/work computer - account name and password.
Work related mails on intranet- account name and password.
Want to apply to some university/ties online - respective number of account names and passwords.
Want to book flight or train tickets online - account name password.
Want to use your ATM card - PIN number (multiple if you have multiple cards).
................
.....................
.............................
...............................................................

Password Password Password......!!!!!!!!!!

There is too much pressure to be like everybody else ?!!

Today I went out with my labmate to just hang around at this place called Indranagar. It wasn't much of a place of that sort until recently. The right way to put it would be usko uttha scene nai tha pehle!  We were sitting there and having our respective favourite chat items and that is when this conversation broke out. About how I can never be like some of the people we saw there. I think I can indubitably state that I always stand out in a crowd, visually.

Even as a child, I failed miserably in attempting to be like the rest. My bunch of friends were a tad bit different from me. Maybe it was because we were culturally different too in a way. But at that age I didn't have the brains to think of it that way. Then there was an age where I took pride in saying the phrase "I'm not a commoner!". Yes, I did ha ha. A few years after that, the pride didn't seem to do much. It just made me feel less of a person. A sense of belonging amongst the crowd was lost. 

Now, I still don't know where I belong. Some sort of a lost phase I guess. When I think of it, I believe I always wanted to belong. A very powerful word according to me. If you fail to belong or adapt , then you'll be thrown out (I got heavily Darwinistic here I know!). It is pretty much like boarding the local trains in Mumbai. You either let the crowd take you in and out, in other words go with the flow or you will have to be a part of the "driving" force there. If not, you will most assuredly get trampled and left injured.

Another of my randomness, but one of the self-obsessed related topics that I keep wondering about in my head. I shall bid adieus with the following lines that made it feel a little better :-D

The individual has always had to struggle to keep from being overwhelmed by the tribe. If you try it, you will be lonely often, and sometimes frightened. But no price is too high to pay for the privilege of owning yourself. 

                                                                                                                          .......Friedrich Nietzsche.

My Boss..... :-)

Most times I walk into my boss's office and update him on the minor (also read sometimes major) blunders that I must have committed with respect to my work or other things of the sort. 

His reaction mostly involves a cascade of changes which begins with a startled face, sudden frigid zone stiffness in his normal stature, dilated pupils, undivided attention and a face that reads " mmm..hmm.... I'm listening ... go on .... but I'm scared for you, me and the general future of the lab". 

Yet he manages to keep his countenance and displays an optimistic one. Once the situation is explained the relief on his face is undeniably great!

Today he walks into the lab and says the exact same thing to me, "I did a very stupid thing today".

My reaction on the contrary was a burst of laughter. 

He explained what he had done and we kept in mind that such things should not be done again. 

Yet I kept thinking, I should have given him a piece of his own reaction :-D

But who am I kidding, he would have probably laughed and said "Nothing serious(read could be serious) just a small mistake that I want you guys to know". 

Still, I kept laughing about it. 

Funny man my boss!