To BE or NOT to BE is the question !

I have been pondering. I have been pensive. I have been scared. I have been happy, excited, felt wonderful, although briefly, too !

So with all the mixed emotions, I have been confused as well. Talk about human physiology that can really be mean to you that way :-/

With all of the above happening in the body and mind, I forgot to enjoy the "present" of course. Why is it that such emotions so strongly hamper the beautiful things happening around you? 

A dear couple of cousins are in town. I haven't spent a meaningful little amount of time with them. I say this not because I didn't physically get myself to be present there. I was there, but it was meaningless. I wasted time, both mine and theirs. Have been a real spoil sport. But today, I breathed in and out, shook off the emotions that were bogging me down, looked around and felt very happy. What I majorly did was to continue doing what I was supposed to be doing for myself, work on my hobbies, do my work, entertain my family, spend time with them apart from continuing to be in my mental verbal vaagjaal. I freed myself from it. Took a look around, identified, recognized and appreciated what I already have at hand. There is so much love, which I seem to be warding off. Sometimes I don't understand why I get so angry and say and do things that are not meant to be. At heart, I only want the best of things for everyone who showers me with loving and caring gifts, and for most others too. 

Note to the self : Do not abuse that which is present, some things are too priceless. Know their anmolness and retain them so!

Hugs and Kisses to my sweetheart family and friends. :-)