Note to Myself, very important :

Don't tell people your problems

70% don't care

the other 30% are happy!

(I miss having this poster, was a beautiful reminder every morning, also for those who entered my room :-P).

Wondering cloud above my head: what about those who ARE listening, which population do they belong to?

Most conversations I hold are about a self - mostly not myself though.

My resolve - run away like the rest, when they ope their lips!

                    Or refer them to a psychologist else ask them to pay me for it.

Funny people are all I know of. Maybe I'm stupid too. Was amazed at a friend recently. Totally misunderstood what I was referring to and she I guess was happy with what she misunderstood. Because that would have meant, lesser bhoj as they call it in hindi or lesser emotional baggage as they call it in english.

I need air, I feel suffocated.

But I guess I need to breathe by myself.

Another note to Myself, also very important:

Know and identify what is yours. The rest mustn't, almost most times, be looked at, heard to, and spoken to.

Includes "so called" family, friends, etc.

Just because a choice was given to people they start to feel off like this

They take it in their hands that your life is in theirs! And think that if they decide otherwise you might end up like this :

Some credit must be given to the possibility of possessing a stronger and more rational mind in others I feel !

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vjh20uFlzKI

I dedicate this to a certain someone in my lab .... whose presence is like what the song is about !

To BE or NOT to BE is the question !

I have been pondering. I have been pensive. I have been scared. I have been happy, excited, felt wonderful, although briefly, too !

So with all the mixed emotions, I have been confused as well. Talk about human physiology that can really be mean to you that way :-/

With all of the above happening in the body and mind, I forgot to enjoy the "present" of course. Why is it that such emotions so strongly hamper the beautiful things happening around you? 

A dear couple of cousins are in town. I haven't spent a meaningful little amount of time with them. I say this not because I didn't physically get myself to be present there. I was there, but it was meaningless. I wasted time, both mine and theirs. Have been a real spoil sport. But today, I breathed in and out, shook off the emotions that were bogging me down, looked around and felt very happy. What I majorly did was to continue doing what I was supposed to be doing for myself, work on my hobbies, do my work, entertain my family, spend time with them apart from continuing to be in my mental verbal vaagjaal. I freed myself from it. Took a look around, identified, recognized and appreciated what I already have at hand. There is so much love, which I seem to be warding off. Sometimes I don't understand why I get so angry and say and do things that are not meant to be. At heart, I only want the best of things for everyone who showers me with loving and caring gifts, and for most others too. 

Note to the self : Do not abuse that which is present, some things are too priceless. Know their anmolness and retain them so!

Hugs and Kisses to my sweetheart family and friends. :-)