I've officially lost "it" !!

Yes, I have! To begin with I didn't have much anyways. But off late, I feel like I have really lost it. If you are scratching your head, then here it goes. The "it" is nothing but my "sanity" :-D

Not very long ago, I had undergone some level of discomfort about the fact that there was no company to socialize and talk about matters that mostly amount to nothing but garbage :-P. So I started a club in my own head. We meet all through the day, have reruns of the jokes that had occurred in the past, jokes that we read about or saw on some show or the ones we overheard/heard from other people's conversations or witnessed a funny event or jokes that are cracked in my parallel world while I'm still conversing with people in a group, etc etc and the list goes on. This kept me occupied and the entertainment value was stellar for sure. The downside of it all was, or still is, that its kind of uh.....hmm......uhhhhhh......ooo.....uhh....ummm....odd, there! I said it ! Yes, it comes off as being a freak show altogether. Of course, we do not care about such notions or firm opinions in other people's heads. Nevertheless, this constant need to conform to the societal norms of behaving normally distracts me sometimes. But I have mastered the art of ignorance is bliss.

The past few days have been hilarious. Hilarious in my head. This is not hilariousness shared with others over a common joke or event. I'm mostly far from it. I have officially lost it, and I'm just not capable of holding or containing a laughter riot inside my head anymore. And so this inability to suppress of course has become more transparent than ever. I just plainly sit by myself and laugh out loud continuously in intervals of every fifteen minutes. The good thing is I'm happy and excited all the time. But the bad thing being, "whats up with you man?" or "what just happened?" or "are you feeling ok?" or the grotesque question mark/surprised expressions, etc etc. 

I wonder then that the world has become so messed up that a person like me can't even peacefully laugh by myself if I wanted to. I mean, I'm not going around bad mouthing others, or calling them names, or behaving badly or disturbing intentionally or affecting their lives in some way. It is so important to join the bandwagon all the time. Be like the rest. I guess therefore you don't get a ride. Because the sense of belonging in a gang is lost. Whatever. Who cares (chuckles) :-P :-D? I don't mind being stationed right where Iyyam :-)